Alan Thicke's widow Tanya Callau says she 'didn't want to live' after actor's death (Report)

It’s been nearly a year since “Growing Pains” star Alan Thicke passed away in December 2016 at age 69 – and his widow admitted Thursday she’s still coping with the sudden loss.

“I’m ashamed to admit it, but at one point I didn’t want to live – I really didn’t,” Tanya Callau tearfully told Access Hollywood. “If I didn’t have my family and my friends to listen to me and to hold my hand and to give me the love, the nurturing that I needed, I wouldn’t be standing here in front of you right now.”

The 41-year-old actress and model also revealed that fateful day was like any other before Thicke had a heart attack while playing hockey with his 19-year-old son Carter.

“We spoke that morning,” Callau explained. “He woke up that morning and kissed my leg. He used to kiss whatever body part was sticking out of the sheets.

“I got…